DAMN this movie couldve been so good if it wasnt so bad WKHWGEKJGDKJGDK like someone else on letterboxd put it really well: i was way more invested in watching the characters enjoy and explore the carnival than any of the horror elements. i love 80s movies tho and i love movies that involve circuses or carnivals or festivals or whatever idgaf i love it all ♥ i fell asleep near the end bc DAMN it started falling flat but imma muffuckin trooper and finished it *harrumph emoji* WGWKSG idk why they made that guy wear a mask it was so STUPID i was hoping for fun special effects and makeup on the guy once he got unmasked but NO he was just wearing an even WORSER mask UNDERNEATH!!!! OH! AND ANOTHER GRIPE!!!!!! the fucking cows!!! they kept marketing and advertising them as freaks of nature and everyones all "ewwww i dare you to touch it" "i bet you'll catch a disase" LIKE. BITCH FUCK YOU. i love cows so much i hate how mistreated they are in horror movies :(( *vine voice* she is very gorgeous to me!!!!!!!! anyways the freakshow guy's voice is stuck in my muffuckin HEADDD my entire brain is "alive Alive ALIVEEEEEEE!! these are not creatures of man they are creations of god. they are all inside and they are all aLIVE ALIVE ALIVEEEEEEE" WJKWHWKJGWKWG but overall i liked it!! if the final girls screams weren't so annoying, this would definitely be one of my fave movies to put on and fall asleep to :)

I LOVE HOLIDAY HORROR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i dont care HOW "bad" it is- the cheesier the better!!! i LOVE shitty holiday horror it makes me so happy i love it love it LOVE it with my whole heart and soul ♥ ♥ ♥ i love holiday themed horror movies and i love 80s punk rock so this was right up my muffuckin alley!!! the "mysterious murderous caller wears a disguise and changes his voice to harass, and ultimately kill, his partner for some bullshit reason" was verrrrrrry familiar but idc i liked it :] his voice was sorta annoying but i appreciated the effort to talk in a strange manner, so as to further disguise himself. OKAY WAIT. WHAT THE FUCK WAS UP WITH THE SON. WKHWKJWKWJ as SOOOOON as this mf stepped on screen i spat my drink out like "THE BOYFRIEND FROM KILLER KLOWNS?????" WJGWKJWGKJW I WAS SO TAKEN ABACK WJHWKJW WHY WAS HE BLONDEEEEEEEEEEEEEE whatever whatever whaEVER more pressing issue at hand: what the fuck was up with him. i get what suffering from neglect can do to a kid but like. *sits infront of a mirror* "im not crazy. why do they think im crazy??" *tears open a sock, puts his head in it, and attaches jewellery to it* LIKE. MISS GIRL. WKJWHWKJWGKJW "im not crazy!!" *does some buckwild shit* WWKJHWKWH okay anyways!!!! i liked the unique nature of the murders- one every time a timezone reaches midnight. i thought that was pretty cool :] what i did NOT think was cool was his fUCKING MONOLOGUEEEEEE UGH ONE OF MY BIGGEST GRIPES WITH HORROR MOVIES OR ANY MOVIE EVER IS ALWAYS POORLY EXCECUTED VILLAIN MONOLOGUES. he monologued for so fucking long it gave the cops time to interfere. there was no reason to keep her alive for so long!!!!!!!!! but the whole elevator-noose-contraption was honestly really cool. also, while i think the whole "shock ending" thing where its the son driving the ambulance was stupid, i dont hate it, and if i were the son i'd probably want to kill my mom too WHWLKWHWL all in all- fun film!! i liked the opening theme. definitely "so bad its good" in my books :) its not cringeworthy- maybe a little lame or boring in some parts- but you're not suffering with secondhand embarrassment the whole time!! i can't wait to watch this on new years :]]]]

I HATE THIS FUCKIN MOVIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KILLING BITING CHOMPING VIOLENCE I FUCKING HATE THIS MOVIEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! first gripe: i had to sit through like. 20 minutes of old timey white people BULLSHIT to finally see the motherfucker on the poster. note: i love respect and adore the monster. he's the only thing i don't hate abt this movie. BACK TO BEING PISSED. while not necessarily abt the movie, i hate old timey attitudes towards shit. this guy invents LIFE and everyones like "you're sick in the head!" this guy is passionate about something and wants to finish his project, which is TOTALLY REASONABLE, and everyone and their grandma is shitting themselves worrying. like bitch!!!!!! would it kill you to mind your own fucking business!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and i know bla bla ive become desensitised to shit and i know what media was like back in the day, i know i KNOWWWWWW, but that doesnt stop me from feeling the teensiest bit disappointed when the bitch at the beginning is like "this is the scariest movie in EXISTENCE. it'll shock your socks off!!!" and then you watch the movie and the most action in it is two dudes lightly shoving each other. although, i must give credit where its due: when the guy fell out of the windmill and landed on the blade, i felt that. my stomach churned for like a second, so props to whoevers idea that was. NOW BACK TO BITCHING. okay wait first of all, the scene where the girl and the monster play near the lake was SO super cute i absolutely love the intrinsic kind and wholesome nature of children and their unwaivering welcomingness when it comes to play. NOW FOR THE BITCHING. HOW TF DID THE DAD KNOW SHE WAS MURDERED AND HOW DID HE KNOW IT WAS THE MONSTER he just picked his daughter up out the water and was like "AHA IT WAS THAT TALL SONUVABITCH WITH THE STITCHES" LIKE???????????? and he walks into town holding her and all of a sudden everyone knows it was the monster and is now angry. GIRL??????????? i guess the happy ending was supposed to be the monster dying but i felt SO sad when he died and didnt come back in like. some plot twist ending. FUCK this movie and EVERYONE IN IT except the monster ♥

this is my third film in a row that tackles the subject of aging and confronting mortality and im not even doing this shit on purpose WEGJKFGFKGWKJ i found this film looking for something and the poster caught my attention (im weak for yellow) and damn. WKHDKFFKD i didnt cry while watching it but i def wanted to. the funeral scene and the dancing in heaven scene were some of the best moments in film ive ever seen. like, personal favourites anyways. pretty decent film!!

holy fucking shit. i found this film on accident while trying to find a different movie (shoutout Gates Of Heaven) and. WKHDEJKWFHJKFWFH *adds this to my list of Movies About Aging that have Horribly and Irrevocably Imprinted On My Psyche* WLKDHLDLFKHFD okay for starters WOWZERS this movie is so pretty!!!! its directly up my alley, cinematography-wise. its sorta somber, but with the prettiest landscapes you've ever seen, with the nicest color schemes and some ambient noise or a voice over- YASSSSSSSS WKDGDKJDGFWK also the way i SOBBED over barbara WKDGWKDJGDKWD i love her so much!!!!! she's so cool and she's a horror movie geek + physical movie media collector too!!! her monologue was so fucking well delivered i completely forgot it was for acting class and was just like "OH MY GOD YOUR MOM THREW YOUR SQUIRREL AWAY" before being like "wait your name isnt judy" WKJDHKDHDKHFK but yeah!! she's super cool and i have nothing but love and adoration in my heart for her :] OKAY NOW FOR SOME BITCHING. first things first, i do not wish dennis's situation upon him. now with that out of the way- FUCKKKKKKK THIS GUY. he was bitching to anyone who had ears that he was homeless and was gonna kill himself if he didnt find a place to live. then some lady gives him a roof over his head, food on his plate, and companionship and then he fucking complains that he feels trapped. BITCH YOU ARE A FUCKING FUGITIVE. A WANTED CRIMINAL. YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT TRAPPED? YOUR ASS IS GONNA GO TO JAIL YOU DUMB FUCK WKDGDGDKDGJD also i felt so bad for the lady who was married to the crackhead. she wanted to help him so bad but he was too far gone :[ i think it was kinda unfair when she was complaining about marriage tho bc like. girl your husband snorts farts out of a jar. not all marriage is bad. just yours. KWHKJDHKEJHKWE /J /J but overall absolutely phenomenal film!! slowly getting over my fear of aging through all these movies. you still have a life when you're old, ya just gotta figure out what you wanna do with it :]]]]

okay hollllllly shit where do i start. i was recommended this movie by a kid's comedy book. it said it was a comedy, so thats what i expected going into it. BITCHHHHHHHHHHH I WAS MFKIN WEEPING WKWGFHWGFJHFGWKWF its a pretty simple story with almost cartoonishly exaggerated characters, and while the soundtrack was sorta annoying (or just not my speed lol), the relationship between harold and maude is so *WEEPING SOBBING CRYING THROWING UP* WKDGKFWGWDLG but fr- maude is the BEST her attitude towards life is so contagious i absolutely aDORE her. she's quite literally been to hell and back- she's faced the worst humanity could throw at her, and she survived, and despite it all- she found happiness. she still sees the beauty in the world and even tho she doesn't burn bras and riot, she still fights back in her own little way and MAANNNNNNN im getting all emotional just thinking about it hhhhhhhhhhhhh this movie is fucking MAGICAL 10/10 it handles suicide and suicidal ideation in such an interesting way UGHHHHHHH fucking love this movie. OKAY GETTING TEARY EYED TIME TO MAKE JOKES AND RANT. okay i knwo sher was SUPPOSED to be cartoonishly evil but MAN the mom pissed me off SO BAD WKHDWJDWJKD also when the girl asked what the knife was for and harold fricking rolled out the mat and killed himself- BITCHHHHHHH WDHWDKHWDWD FUCKIN HOLLERING WKDHWDKHDKDH okay back to being sappy- when he decorated her room to be funn of sunflowers. WJDHWKJDJDD *CRUMPLES UP AND FUCKING. DIES.* THAT WAS SO SWEET WHATTHE FUCKKKKKKKKKKokay gonna cry some more abt this. again- 100/10 absolutely magnificent film. made my heart happy :]

WAHOO!!!!!!! i friggin love austin powers (both the franchise and the character). this has the same plot as the second movie but that doesnt mean i enjoyed it any less :] scott evil my srimblo bimblo bongus amongus ♡ ♡ ♡ WJDHKJFFKJFD i friggin love him sm ive been repeating all his lines for AGES WHKGDJKDKD "dad can i take my sega?-" *gets held at gunpoint* WJHDLKFHFLFH PLEASEEEEEEE he is so my everything like the way he was so ready to grab a gun and just shoot these mfs bc his dad wouldnt >>>>>>> WKDBJKDHWKHWK v fun movie 5 penis pumps outta 5 :]]]]

boooooooooooo. BOOOOOOOOOO. total ass movie. the clown was in like- 2 scenes. i get its an anthology film or whatever and i knew that going in, but all the characters were sooooo boring they shouldve focused more on the kids and the babysitter bc they were interesting, or at the very least- funny. the alien-thing segment went on wayyyyyyy too fucking long. the one with the gas station or whatever was the WORST it was so boring i was practically sleeping. ughhhh i was really hoping for more. people kept hyping up this clown all "omg he's sooooo terrible and terrifying omg omg omg" and i know this was his first appearance so maybe it gets better in the following films, but as of right now: boooooooooooooooooooooo. no stars >:/

holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit this shit was inSANEEEEEEEEE. well the first bit of it is, anyways. i like to think i can handle gore pretty well but as it turns out, there is an exception to that: self mutilation. which is probably why i havent watched any saw movies yet. but MAN that shit freaked me tf OUTTTTTT WHJKDGWDGWJD like when the boyfriend fell in all the bear traps i was fine and it was p cool!! (i love special effects) but when the guy had to pull his hand out of all the razor blades?? EUGHHHHHHH YUCKY YUCKY YUCK YUCK BLEGGGHHHH WLDHLWFHLFWHFWL home invasion movies are unimaginably scary to me and theyre probably the only genre to truly horrify me, not just spook or scare me. so this definitely messed me up a bit WLDGJDGL i really appreciate the fact that he went back for the little girl tho. that shit makes my heart vv happey :] also i KNEWWWW his ass wasnt gonna make it. as soon as he started smiling and being all like "we made it!!" i KNEW his ass was dead like boooooo FUCK premature celebration all my homies HATE celebration when theres still 10 minutes of runtime left WKHDKHDKDH all in all- good film! managed to actually scare me, not just jumpscare surpise me :]

what the fuck is wrong with the penguin. KWHWKSHDKD like whatever sad backstory (ALSO LEMME TAKE A QUICK MINUTE TO TALK ABOUT THAT. HE WAS BORN UGLY SO HIS PARENTS KEPT HIM IN A FUCKING CAGE??????? HE ATE A FUCKING CAT?????? THEN THEY THREW HIM OFF OF A FUCKING BRIDGE??????????? WHATTTTTTTT THE FUCKKKKKKKK) that aside, no amount of tragic backstory makes up for the fact that he's gross and nasty and im not even talking about him physically!!! he's so gross and creepy and incel-y and just. yeuck. anyways batman kills another bunch of people and again. BATMAN DOESNT KILL- MY ASS. WKWBWKDBHKWDHKWD OH OH OH ALSOOOOOOOOOOO ANDREW BRYNIARSKI IS IN THIS (chad i think??) WHICH IS LIKE. KWHWKHWDKDHKD LIKE HE'S IN ALL OF MY SPINS RN (slashers [leatherface] / scooby doo [henchman dude] / batman [chad] ) WHICH IS SOOOOOO !!!!! WKHWEKHEWKHEW anyanyways catwoman was super cool n pretty :]] i didnt get why she trashed her place or how she got her powers but i enjoyed her nonetheless :]] not as good as the first one (sequels rarely are) but still fun :]

I LOVE BATMAN I LOVE BATMAN SO MUCH *TSHIRT THAT SAYS #1 BATFAN* WHDSWKWKDKWJDWJK okay so every filmbro ever is always like "eughhh the only true batman is the 1989 one with michael keaton and jack nicholson every other one sucks weh weh weh" so i expected to be absolutely ass blasted with greatness and while it wasnt an outstanding film, it was really fun!! i enjoyed watching it which i think is the only quality a movie needs :] watching this after watching the Lego Batman Movie and finally getting all the jokes was sooooo fun!! the lets get nuts thing was sorta jarring but i rlly rlly liked it bc it was def vv Beetlejuice-y and a lot of people agree KWHWKJSHSKDSHK michael keaton is just that bitch ♡ ALSO THE JOKER WAS SO AWESOME!!! yeah yeah the joker as a person is bad blah blah whatever- THIS guy was FUN!! the museum montage was so entertaining i fuckin LOVED IT like thats what the joker is about babey!! mischief and chaos!! being a funny silly guy!! all his contraptions to blow up the tv when he didnt like what was on was the funniest running joke in the whole movie KWHSKSHKD when he pulled the fucking gatling gun from his pants- WKJHWKSHSKJHDKDHK BITCHHHHHHHH WKDHWKD ROLLING ON THE MFING FLOOR idk why that sent me but MAN that was funny asf for some reason. (also if we're being fr- batman kills just as many people as the joker which is v. !!!) but overall, genuinely such a fun goofy silly movie. i havent watched every batman movie yet, but its definitely a contender for one of the best :]]

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS WKHGKHWKSHWS I FUCKING LOVE THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS ITS ONE OF MY FAVE MOVIES EVER EVER EVER ITS WON LIKE A BILLION AWARDS FOR BEING THE BEST MOVIE OF ALL TIME AND IT DESERVES EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THOSE AND MORE WKHWSKWDKD FUCKKKKKKKKKK THIS MOVIE IS SO GOODDDDDDDDD ive seen it before but no matter how many time i see it, its just so compelling and i always get so engrossed in the phenomenal acting its just so!!!!!!!!!!! i love dr. lecter so much he's so the best guy ever in the whole world idgaf if he kills- he's so smart and cunning and clever and intellectual about it all that you can't even be mad- just stupefied at how he does it. WJHDWKHKWDHF clarice is my absolute beloved FUCK i just love this movie so fucking much hhhhhhhhhhh 10000000000/10

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fuck this kangaroo bitch i hope she die i hope a fucking anvil fall on her head >:[ also wtfffff is this movie. i get that its supposed to be all "stand up for those who cant stand up for themselves" or whatever i cant phrase it right but i understand it. but seriously what is this- My First Existential Crisis? WKHKDHKDKDHDK man idk how i didnt explode or kms when i watched this as a kid this was existential asf WLGWLGWLJDGLWD

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WOOOOOOO THE RETURN OF HERBERT BABEYYYYYY!!!!!! why tf does dan Look Like That. GOD i hate dan he's such a dickweed like he's so heartbroken over the loss of his girlfriend that he goes to the lengths of bringing her back from the dead. WHILE HE'S SLEEPING WITH ANOTHER WOMANNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!! LIKE EAT SHIT AND DIE ALREADY WJKHEKGFEKJGEFJK also i dont get why everyone was so against what they were doing. they found scientific immortality and yall are. Mad????

damn. bitches really want these people money huh?? ANYWAS MISS DEBBIE JELLINSKY PLEASE MARRY ME OGH MY GODDDDDDD SHES SO PERFECT AND AMAZING AND BEAUTIFUL AND EVERY GOOD THING IN THE WHOLE WORLD i would literally do anything for her like when she was like "would you die for me? :)" i was like scooby doo tryna get a scooby snack i was nodding and howling like a gotdamn IDIOTTTT WKDJHFKJHWFKJWF but i really do like her and wholeheartedly agree with and support everything she does. fuck yeah bby get that bag {INSERT HEART GIF} WKDKJDKJF OOOOOOH LORD DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THAT SUMMER CAMP THING i knowwww it was a joke it was an exaggeration blah blah blah whatever MAN i wanted to cause greivous bodily harm on all those people SO bad like i would be going mama Voorhees on ALLEM counsellors. the kids too idgaf i would be swinging on EVERYBODY ass. when wednesday started her little riot thing i felt like my kid just graduated college or sumn i was SO proud like fuck yeah!!! killing and violence!!! make them suffer girl!!!! WHDHDLHFLKFHFLK absolute top tier movie

HIT THE MUFFUCKIN SLAY BUTTONNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!! WE STAN THE ADDAMSES IN THIS HOUSE YALL HEAR ME?? anyways this reminded me of Days of The Week from SCTV (Old Person sends Stupid Guy with Curly Hair to steal money from a family, and then pretends to be part of the family but with amnesia). ALSO 2/10/11 = EYES FINGERS TOES WKJDHKJWHFKHFK THAT SHIT SENT MEEEEEEEEE WJDHWKDJHDW I WAS ROLLIN ON THE FLOOR LIKE MY ASS CAUGHT FIRE YALLL WKJDJDKHDKJWHDKJ on the flip side: "we gladly feast on those who would subdue us"- do you KNOW how hard my ass cried at that?? my GOD i was weeping enough to put God's Great Flood to SHAME WHDKJHDJFLHFKJFHDL {INSERT CRYING GIF} i love these people so goddamn much. like The Addams are my ideal family i just ADORE these guys. theyre great

everyone and their grandma kept raving about this movie so i wanted to check it out to see if it lived up to the hype and honestly? it did :D i totally see why everyone is head over heels for herbert. i wouldnt say i feel the same but i do care very much about him!! he's my little spoinky badoinky scrimblo bimblo teepsy weepsy blorbo worbo :] WKJHDKDHKD he's so glaringly autistic i fucking LOVE that about him and his snark is so!!! EKHDKJFKJHDKJ anyways new fave color: re-animator green :]]]

BILL AND TED BILL AND TED BILL AND TEDDDDD!!!!!! paul was my second fave lost boy but after seeing this, UMMM. H. WJHDLDLFDHFDLF putting bill in a crop top was proof that god is real and girl lemme tell you- i am MORE than ready to get on my knees and start worshipping WJHDLKDLDKHDL but fr this movie was SO enjoyable even though i had to close my eyes a few times to cope with secondhand embarrassment ALSO THEY STOLE THEIR DADS KEYYSSSSSSSSSSS HOLY FUCKING SHIT THAT WAS THE BIGGEST PLOT TWIST SINCE EVER LIKE THAT SHIT BLEW MY MIND I WAS FUCKING HOLLERING WKJDGFKJGFK anyways grampa george carlin!!!! rufus was so sweet i love him sm

EEEEE WKWDJKGFDJKFGKJF yeah yeah insert cheap Child's Play/Chucky ripoff joke here OKAY MOVING ON this was SOOOOOO stupid which is great because i love stupid movies SO!! first of all WHY THE FUCKKKKKKK did he not kill her at first. he was like BLAM BLAM and drops her dad and brother but then turns to her like "i dont want to kill you. im not gonna kill you." WHY TF NOT???? AND THENNNNNN!! THIS PART PISSES ME OFF SO BAD. the fucking Wannabe-Boyfriend/Wrestler gets cut and instead of calling a doctor or going to the hospital or even just cleaning it up. HE FUCKING BLEEDS ALL OVER THE COOKIE BATTER!!!!! WHATTTTT THE FUCKKKKKKKK IS WRONGGGGGG WITH YOUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!! hoo boy i have to take deep breaths bc im getting heated just THINKING about it. anyways the rival girl shows up with a rat to get the bakery shut down like. girl do you KNOW what is in that batter?? that shit is scarier than ANY fucking creature. theres so many human remains in the batter that it fucking came to life. GIRLLLL!!!!!!!! WKJDHFKJFHLFHLK anywaysssss. the punk boy?? OOOOOOOOOOOH LAWD HES SO FINEEEEEEEE im a deaf ass bitch and for a hot minute i thought his name was anus but apparently its Amos??? idgaf i was wholeass abt to simp for a Booty ass name bitch WJDGDKDKDGDKJ ANYWAYS hes SOOOOO awooga like he looks like a white marlon wayans like if you combined Daryll and Tim from Senseless, youd get this guy. HGGGGHGHGH with the black painted nails?? AWOOOOGA HUMMINA HUMMINA WHKSJGKDGDK he pulled out the toolie and a bitch damn near fainted let me tell you!!!! WJHFDKJFHLFL anyways that one girl covered in frosting with cherries on her tiddies?? wtf was that about?? ALL IN ALL solid shitty b-horror movie. i heart amos

jack torrance president??? jack black soldier boy????? TOM JONES?????????????

watched this with the kids too and now they run around chasing each other with two fingers sticking out trying to "pick each others nose" like freddy did to kia WKJDKJDHDHDK

watched this with the kids and everyone unanimously agrees that shorty = ult beloved :]]]

whatttttttt the hell. genuinely what was this movie rated. the main character's special interest is cartoons and has a goofy childlike demeanor and he turns INTO a cartoon character with a bunch of slapstick comedy routines and silly oneliners, so you'd THINK its primarily for kids, but then he pulls out a (used?? i cant remember) condom, some guys gets shot to death, and the Villain Dude kept being a total creepazoid, along with a bunch of sex jokes and other shit thrown in there that would fly over a kids head, so its like????????? idk if id call it a family movie but WHATEVER i liked it :))))) and uhhh... tyrell was kinda.... EHEM ANYWAYS!!!!!! super silly movie i absolutely aDORE stanley ipkiss like *points at screen* oh em gee you are just like me fr!!!!!

what the actual fuck even was this movie. why was grandpappy such a creepazoid?? whatever ANYWAYS i love how the movie kept trying to be like "oooh look at all these hoodlums and ruffians. what a scaryyyyy place to live" and its just punks and poc. LIKE. WKJDHKJFDHKFJHKF. but god DAMN as stupid as this movie was, it was really pretty. at least to me ♡ like what i wouldnt give to work at a video store in the 80s ♡ ♡ ♡ OH ALSO. WHAT THE FUCK WAS UP WITH THAT ONE KID. EDGAR FROG. WHYYYYYY WAS HE DOING A BATMAN IMPRESSION LIKE DUDE. THAT IS NOT UR REAL VOICE WHOOOOOOOO TF ARE YOU TRYING TO FOOL. nothing against him or his performance but his voice pissed me off soooooooo bad. but whatever none of that matters bc Paul ♡ ♡ ♡ WKJDHKDJHKDHKHKDF yeah yeah whatever but like. Goofy Flirty Blonde Stoner Dude is like. my Exact Fucking Type like he is checking ALL my boxes aWOOOOOOGA ♡ also you shoulda seen me flip out when the dude showed up to the date and was all "uhhh i cant come in unless you invite me." LIKE WKDHFFKFHKJ DUDE THATS THE BIGGEST VAMPIRE RED FLAG IN THE WORLD WHY WOULD YOU LET HIM INNNNNNNNN but whatever whatever whatever this movie was so cheesy and fun and is def high up in my Fave Movies rankings. LOVE me some cheesy 80's horror ♡

OHHHHHHHHMY LORD okay so ive been waiting for this for fucking EVER ive been planning on taking my dad to this movie since the dawn of time bc he's a fucking wuss and everytime he saw the trailer he'd get the actual daylights scared out of him. ANYWAYS WOOOOOO the first half of the movie was absolutely fucking. STUNNING. i despise the colour green but i will make an exception for this movie because Wow. its so pretty i wanna bite something. my dad didn't understand the movie at all and came to the conclusion that she went nuts after her husbands death. cue me, going on the most autistic-est of rants about everything he missed, which was basically the whole movie WJDHKDKFFK. ANYWAYS the first guy (barring the landlord) who spooked her being naked in the woods and her eating the apple, which the landlord called "forbidden fruit", and her flipping out in the church, and the statues, just!!!!!! HHHHHHHH!!!!!!! i fucking love biblical symbolism OH also the priest creeping on her was SOOO scarily accurate what in the actual fuck like they will find ANY fucking reason to touch you :/ OKAY BACK TO WHATEVER i have no idea why she lied to the landlord. there was?? no reason?? he asked her if she played piano and she was like "no :)" then he left and she started banging out fucking Beethoven. GIRL??????? OUGH ALSO WKDGWFKJGWFKGWFK my dad did not get the birth scene at ALL so he was just fucking Horrifed when the guys started pushing fully grown men out of their bussys and i had to explain to him in the car ride home that it was a metaphor for like. the cycle of abusive men raising more abusive men. WJDHKJHDJWDH also i referred to the scene where the Forest Man blew dandelion puffs at her as "the wood man blowing his seed on her face" and my dad laughed so hard we nearly crashed lmao WJHDKJFHKJFHKJF anyways great movie about the female perspective on abusive men :)

WWFHGWFLKHFLWFFLW i would summarize the plot or something but i couldnt see past all the hearts and flower petals that clouded my vision whenever seth green was onscreen.

MY GOD THIS MOVIEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! literally the ultimate comfort movie ever ever EVER i have never felt happier and more joyous watching a film its not even that good its just so FUN and goofy and silly and too dirty to be fully for kids but nothing explicit which is exACTLY where my sense of humour lies, so its just so !!!! ANYWAYS i adore everyone everyone EVERYONE in this movie theyre all such loveable characters, this is the best band of protagonists in history ever. OUGH that scene where velma is just bursting at the seams with happiness after scaring daphne HHHHHHHHH *gay air raid sirens go off* WHJDDHLD if i had a nickel for every movie where matthew lillard falls down some dusty ass creepy hole in search of his best friend, i'd have two fucking nickels. which isnt a lot but like. WHDJHDKDHKLDHDL OH OH OHHHHH ALSO ALSO ALSO the soundtrack. holy SHIT the soundtrack. every song in the movie fucking slaps. friggin OutKast has a song here. the soundtrack is SO super 2000s its like Y2K being beamed directly into your soul its AWESOME. best movie in the whole wide world ever ever EVER

the ultimate film for women in their 30's who wish they were in their 20's. i went to see this one in theatres and the audience was nothing but geriatric ward escapees WLDHLKFHFLF. anyways *guy whos only ever watched Without A Paddle voice* wow this gives SUCH Without A Paddle vibes :) WHDHJLDLDH but just some similarities that made me stim:

• treasure hunting
• dead loved one that spurs on an adventure
• "oh no we have to cuddle together shirtless for warmth" scene
• moral about making your life meaningful or some shit

ANY ANY ANYWAYS it was marketed as a comedy but nothing made me laugh except for that little "feminism/masnplaining" argument WGDKDHGLDD LMAOOOOOO it wasn't bad or anything- just not my speed. i've never been one for romance movies :/ but that "do you smell that" thing was uber cute ngl i'd love me a himbo to calm me down whenever i have a panic attack ♡ that woman was SOOOOOO mean to him for literally No Reason but whatever i could treat him right ♡♡♡